In a society where self-help books line the shelves, success is perceived to be based on one person’s merits alone, and where asking for help feels like a sign of weakness, it’s no wonder why so many of us won’t reach out when we need it. If we ask for help, we might not seem like we’re capable without it. If we ask for help, then someone else might take control of us. If we ask for help, we might be embarrassing ourselves. It’s one thing to “finally get around” to asking for help on a project, it’s another to sit down with yourself, your loved ones, and look at your life.
Realizing you’re at a point in your life where you cannot pull yourself out of a hole on your own is hard enough. Admitting your mistakes, possibly having to apologize to the people that you’ve hurt along the way, and seeking out help takes a remarkable amount of courage.
For substance abusers, asking for help means you must first set aside your pride. Alcoholism takes years, if not decades, to develop, and over the course of that time you have likely heard your loved ones’ concerns and dismissed them. Reaching the point where you finally acknowledge the problem in your drinking habits can often feel like hitting rock bottom. At this point, you might look around you and find only the tattered remains of your friendships. Here is how to ask for help from your loved ones and, hopefully, start to rebuild your relationships with them:
The Power of Apologising
Giving and receiving apologies has many benefits. You cannot simply resume a damaged relationship without first acknowledging the hurt and stress you caused. A true, genuine apology has many healing benefits for both parties. Apologies are key in helping us let go of our anger and move on. Accepting the hurt you caused and holstering responsibility for it is the first step.
Proactively Seek Treatments
Apologizing for your behaviour means absolutely nothing unless you proactively try to change your ways. Show your loved ones that you are serious and search for AA Meetings near me. Let them be a part of your recovery. Search for treatments and find a AA Meeting that suits you and your needs.
Make New Memories
After you’ve apologized and proven that you are committed to recovery and that your apology was genuine, it is time to start making new memories. Don’t push too hard for this. It is up to your loved one to decide whether they are ready to start to move on. Start with small things, first. Be more present in their lives. Don’t let their reluctance, or their anger, dissuade you. It is a long road to recover from alcoholism, and a longer one to repair the damage done to your relationships, but it can be done.
Remember to set aside your ego. Penance is removing pride and accepting the pain that you have caused. It is being responsible for your actions. Patience and love will get you through it.